Ian (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} ianischester) wrote,@ 2007-05-28 20:19:00 |
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Dear Dad,
You don't want people to know I'm gay. I know. I get it. Stop lying to me.
You know, all I ever wanted from you was the satisfaction of you being proud of me. Asking me to be "discreet" does not show that you support me. So stop telling me that you support me to pacify your own inner troubles. No I will not wear a sweatshirt over my tshirt because it's "too tight" and "screams 'gay'" to you.
I WILL NOT.
I'd rather sit at home while my friends hang out just to show you that I refuse to hide any longer.
Dear Mom,
I'm sorry you still cry yourself to sleep sometimes because you're so worried about me. I'm sorry this has been so painful for you. You're right. I had terrible timing and it was stupid. But it was anything but cowardly. The majority of teen suicides are gay teens. They're the ones that lost their strength, their hope, their bravery, to continue life at all. As far as I'm concerned, I'm one of the brave ones; brave enough to subject myself, and apparently the rest of you, the pain and discomfort of existing. I was terribly depressed. I was suicidal. And I pulled myself out of it single-handedly because I was too afraid to tell anyone what was really wrong.
That is, in too many ways, bravery.
I'm glad you made the point that your good friend from college was brilliant and intelligent but also so militantly gay that he accidently doomed his entire future career. I, however, refuse to let that happen. I can't just continue to keep my life secret in order to "play it safe" when I'm unhappy doing so. Yes, it's risky. But it's not OK to live in a way that I simply don't desire.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Talk to me. You're obviously the ones with the insecurities at this point.
Stop trying to make me feel bad that "there are members of this household who care what the public knows and thinks." Just get it out. Seriously. I've been waiting. You're yet to ask me anything about my currently ex-boyfriend who I had been, until quite recently, dating for 9 months. That offends me.
I've come to grips, now you must too.
Love,
Ian
You don't want people to know I'm gay. I know. I get it. Stop lying to me.
You know, all I ever wanted from you was the satisfaction of you being proud of me. Asking me to be "discreet" does not show that you support me. So stop telling me that you support me to pacify your own inner troubles. No I will not wear a sweatshirt over my tshirt because it's "too tight" and "screams 'gay'" to you.
I WILL NOT.
I'd rather sit at home while my friends hang out just to show you that I refuse to hide any longer.
Dear Mom,
I'm sorry you still cry yourself to sleep sometimes because you're so worried about me. I'm sorry this has been so painful for you. You're right. I had terrible timing and it was stupid. But it was anything but cowardly. The majority of teen suicides are gay teens. They're the ones that lost their strength, their hope, their bravery, to continue life at all. As far as I'm concerned, I'm one of the brave ones; brave enough to subject myself, and apparently the rest of you, the pain and discomfort of existing. I was terribly depressed. I was suicidal. And I pulled myself out of it single-handedly because I was too afraid to tell anyone what was really wrong.
That is, in too many ways, bravery.
I'm glad you made the point that your good friend from college was brilliant and intelligent but also so militantly gay that he accidently doomed his entire future career. I, however, refuse to let that happen. I can't just continue to keep my life secret in order to "play it safe" when I'm unhappy doing so. Yes, it's risky. But it's not OK to live in a way that I simply don't desire.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Talk to me. You're obviously the ones with the insecurities at this point.
Stop trying to make me feel bad that "there are members of this household who care what the public knows and thinks." Just get it out. Seriously. I've been waiting. You're yet to ask me anything about my currently ex-boyfriend who I had been, until quite recently, dating for 9 months. That offends me.
I've come to grips, now you must too.
Love,
Ian
